Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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