He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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