no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
