i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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