I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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