areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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