The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
