are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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