hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
