I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is Oprah even human
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
