Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
