My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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