Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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