I think i peed on brittanys purse
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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