I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
