No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
