Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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