i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
