opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
