I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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