Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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