good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
