shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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