Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
