like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Need sex. Gaining weight.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
