My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
