Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
