Four minutes until I can fart!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
