I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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