we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
