I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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