She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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