u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
