the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
