So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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