it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
