Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
