I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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