You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
