i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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