Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
