I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
