I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
