At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
