Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
