I want to stick my p in your. b.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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