Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
