There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
