No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
