so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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